Notes from a chaotic mind

They are some days where I just sit in front of my computer staring at an image on the screen. Everything I try just seems boring. On the worst days, the screen is simply just blank and I have no idea where to start. Whether you photograph, draw or paint, those kind of days are very familiar to us. We’ve to rely on that creative feeling and the drive that it gives us.

However, the chaotic type of days have turned from weeks to months lately. My attention span has become even shorter. The less I create the more I am frustrated I am with myself. The more I see others create, the more I feel like that I must be doing something wrong. The feeling of being stuck on a hamster wheel that I can’t seem to get off from is very real.

I have no idea how to get out of this rut but one thing that I keep chasing is the feeling I get when I am behind the camera. The feeling that all my doubts and insecurities could just disappear when I pick up the camera. That feeling is truly comforting to me and it feels like where I should be. Sometimes it is not about the resulting image or the next great picture, sometimes it is simply just about looking after ourselves and living in the moment.

Moments are funny things. They can easily equate to time. They are not tangible things but things to experience and cherish. Whether they are good experiences or bad, we should experience and cherish them all. Without the bad, we would not know what the good are or even embrace them.

At this time, I am uncertain of what will happen, I am sure that I will keep trying. This journey has taught me a lot and moulded me into who I am today.

So cheers for the good and bad……………..

City chaos © Pamela Aminou

2 Comments Add yours

  1. paula graham says:

    ha, ha, I recognise that feeling only too well.!

    1. pammyv02 says:

      Unnerving not knowing when it will end. Comforting to know that I am not on my own.

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